Blog 3 - Generative Research

First off, apologies for not getting the first image aligned correctly. I am not able to figure out how to get it to publish so that it appears horizontal. I have drawn some of the things (and I included people and abstract things like my career in it too). In a circle it gets hard to show priorities, but if I had to rank them in the sequence of things I absolutely can not live without - first would be my family. Second would be my laptop (with an internet connection, of course!) - and maybe this needs a little explanation : my laptop is my source of news, entertainment, knowledge, it's how I connect with family that is far off and it is how I get my work done. I can not imagine living without my laptop because it would almost feel like a handicap to have a laptop but no internet access - again, because almost all my shopping, browsing, reading, chatting happens through the internet. Third would be my car. And finally my phone - its like my laptop for when I am mobile.

In the circle that I care about most of the things are self explanatory. I care very deeply about my close friends and everything that happens in their lives. My career and work are definitely things I care about too. The only thing that might look a little weird on there is 'My Art' - it is actually a vase with ceramic decoration on it. I love to create ceramic art on pots , and while I may not be very good at it , it is just a source of joy and pleasure.

It appears that I access more information categories during the time after school and during late evening. While during the day I seem to access very specific information related to work or current events, when I am relaxing in the evening, I tend to access different categories of information ranging from children to entertainment combined with some of the work and calendar to start planning the next day.

Web search, online videos and news/entertainment websites form the bulk of my online consumption. I end up using web search for everything for cooking recipes to wiki definitions.

Journey Map

 “Look kids, there’s big Ben” was the first thought that came to my mind when I heard my 12 year old son say “Let’s go to Europe, I want to see the castles and the Big Ben!” my son was yelling excitedly… I could only imagine our trip turning into another national lampoon’s vacation story – my son insisting on visiting the castle, my daughter wanting to shop for ‘European’ clothes and my husband constantly fidgeting with his iPhone checking his emails & browsing! My first thought was – No Way!! – I don’t think I can spend 3 weeks like that! I would rather have my lazy Sunday to myself, watching my favorite TV show and sipping on wine.

But I happened to mention the idea to my close friend, M. I thought M would think it was an outrageous idea and tell her son (who was my son’s best friend) to talk my son out of it. Oh .. But how that idea backfired on me?! She started convincing me of what a wonderful idea it was. “Our kids are best friends, they will love being with each other. Imagine all the time we will have to ourselves…you and I will go shopping, our husbands can share their boring stories of work and technology” she said “It’s going to be a perfect vacation! Let’s do it!” That's just how M was - spontaneous, ebullient, carefree and   vivacious. Me on the other hand... I had always been more cautious than I needed to be, timid about trying out new things and constantly apprehensive of the future. She was the life of the party , I would be in the corner avoiding any eye contact .... she loved roller coaster rides, I hated them...she loved designer clothing and expensive accessories and I couldn't for the love of God get myself to buy a pair of designer jeans much less a LV bag or Chanel purfume.....I always wonder how on earth we became the best of friends?! 

                            


Don’t get me wrong, I loved M and her quirky ways – but a three week long vacation? How could we possibly afford to spend that much time and money? My husband, S, was not going to be very happy about this escapade we were planning behind his back!

When S got home that night, we all sat down for dinner. There was silence for the first 15 minutes, it did not seem to bother S at all. Am surprised he did not realize that our kids were not quarreling over any topic today, that they seemed to be on their best behavior.….how could he not sense something was unusual? Oh well, that is just how men are. They would rather enjoy their meal than notice their surroundings or family! I broke the news about the plan to go on a three week long Europe vacation very gently to S. “ Am guessing M had a hand in all this?” he said, raising his eyebrows.  He knows how persuasive M can get when she likes an idea – and frankly, am not all that hard to sway either. To my surprise, S actually liked the idea – “Well…okay, only remember, don’t go overboard with the budget “he cautioned me.

M had done a good job of pitching the vacation idea to me. She had actually managed to get me a little excited about the trip. It was not that I was not looking forward to some “ME-time”, but I was apprehensive about the duration – 3 weeks is a long time away from home and my son had dietary restrictions .. so finding the right food for him was not going to be easy and to add to all the drama … 4 kids ! Four kids would not have been so much of a challenge if they were meek, calm and innocent like when they were little babies, but these kids were on the verge of adolescence…raging hormones ….. bubbling with rebellion!         

I had my doubts about the whole idea, but decided to go along for the roller coaster ride anyways. So there I was –talking to M about getting together over the weekend to start planning this ‘thrilling’ vacation. My son and his best friend had already decided that UK had to be on the top of the list of places to visit, M had to go to Paris if we were going to go to Europe, and I was thinking, we are going to Europe … this may be the last time we can afford such an extravagant trip, might as well visit Italy, Germany and Switzerland as well! “Hold your horses”, M said, “we might be getting just a tad bit ahead of ourselves here….there is this little something called the BUDGET…..remember?” We both sighed, of course….we were not going to get our cake and eat it too! So, I suggested we talk to a travel agent and request some catalogs so we could narrow down exactly where we wanted to go.

The catalogs were definitely helpful… besides giving us an idea of all the sightseeing we wanted to do, it showed us some of the local attractions and lodging we might be interested in. M and I sat down and narrowed the list to the key locations we all just had to visit. Now this was getting real….we were really going to do this! I was feeling anxious yet jubilant, just the thought of spending three whole weeks from the usual grind was getting my spirits up.  I was looking forward to some rest and relaxation, maybe…just maybe….me and S would get a chance to slip away and revive our romance.

It was the day before our flight…. We were done with all the planning and the packing, the discussing and the arguing. I had made a long check list of all the things we had to carry. I was under the impression that I was so systematic and organized – because I had two lists – one, ‘must haves’ and second, ‘like to haves‘. I had clearly set a baggage limit and instructed my daughter to not carry her entire wardrobe. But apparently all the items from the ‘like to haves’ list sneaked to the ‘must haves’ list a day before the flight, and I had a room full of luggage – it was as if we had packed our entire home into bags! After negotiation rounds longer than the ones US diplomats had with Syrian diplomats, me and my daughter reached an agreement. We somehow managed to get to the airport on time. I was glad to see M , all ready for a carefree vacation, dressed up in her LV bag and wearing her sun hat and D&G goggles. “Oh c’mon M” I said, “are you seriously getting on a flight looking like that? Its

7PM, who needs shades and a hat this hour of the day?” “Woman, don’t muddle up my vacation vibe” she said. “My ‘ME-time’ has begun and I shall dress just as I please”.  So there we were - all eight of us on our trip to Europe; some of us a little overdressed for the occasion.  

Each day on that trip was a reminder of the most amazing bonds I share with these people. I have no idea how three weeks went by……we drove around, ate in some wonderful restaurants, visited some of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen .. and to my surprise, M was right – the kids got along so well with each other, we barely noticed they were around. My son got to visit the castle, M got to take pictures at the Eiffel tower, S got to see Stonehenge and I got a bucket load of wonderful memories.  Maybe we did not get to do every activity that we had planned for, but the beauty of the trip was in the little moments – the 80’s music blaring in the family van we rented, driving our kids crazy; the quiet and serene walks on the beach with my husband; the beautiful architecture and sculptures in some of the museums; the girly gossip M, my daughter and I indulged in …. nothing can beat those moments! So much for my imagination that the trip would turn out to be a scene straight out of a National Lampoon’s movie!

I had almost made up mind to cancel my trip to Hawaii and work over the long weekend. “You are young only once, you will have all your life to work…..don’t cancel this trip” my cousin told me. He is much older, but very close and almost more of a friend than an older brother. He was right, it was the best trip of my life and I would have regretted not going had it not been for him. He has always had simple but good advice for me over the years.

Think & feel : My cousin (let’s call him Sam) is at a comfortable place in his life. He has a well-paying job, a family and owns most of the basic necessities one could desire. He enjoys spending time with his children and seeing them grow up. Although he is content with his place, he aspires to grow – both professionally and personally. 

Professionally,he feels the need to reinvent himself; he has been a man of habit, he takes the same route to work everyday, he has shopped at the same stores, he has eaten at the same restaurants and he has liked the predictability of his life. Most of his bets so far, have been safe. But now he wants to take a risk, and try his hand at entrepreneurship. After having worked for almost one and a half decades in the US, he now realizes how important it is to discover yourself. Today, he wants to pursue not just a career, but a passion.While monetary gains and material wealth are definitely top priority, a very close second are family and friends. Sam is very mature and sacrifices on many occasions for his family. He has grown beyond thinking for himself; he has started to explore how he could give back to society and how he could set a good example for his children. His children’s futures and their education are always on his mind. He is from India, and so he wants his children to learn both cultures – Indian and American. He believes it is his responsibility to show his children the best of both worlds. While he believes his kids have every right to express their views and opinions, he wants them to understand the pros and cons before they jump to forming those opinions or judging a person or situation.  

See: Sam sees the workplace getting more and more competitive. He is very aware of the pace of change in his industry and is constantly trying to stay ahead of the curve. With the recent boom in digital content and devices, he is bombarded with all sorts of news, trends and latest happenings all through the day. He sees some of his peers who refused to embrace change get left behind in the race. His outlook towards a career used to be - look for a job that matches your skill set and supports your family. But today, he has redefined it; he believes your profession is a manifestation of YOU, it satisfies your desire to express your place in society, it can be a source of pure joy, pride and excitement. He is no longer afraid to take risks and put himself out there. He would rather try and fail than never have tried at all.

On the personal front, Sam sees his friends get their children involved in a myriad of activities ranging from sports to music and arts. Sam can see the opportunities offered to students and youngsters. He realizes part of the reason young adults succeed, is because of the stress on following your passion. In his words “Success comes easily, if you love what you do”. 

Hear: Sam is at a distinctive position in terms of age – he gets to hear his parents’ opinions that maybe a more conservative outlook and he also gets to hear from his younger siblings and children and that maybe have a more liberal outlook towards issues and problems. He takes time to listen to what people around him have to say before he speaks up. Sam’s friends and colleagues like this aspect of his personality. They tend to value and respect his opinion, because he is not rushing to conclusions and seems to take into account most aspects of the issue at hand.

Say/Do: Sam is a responsible and mature person. He likes to deal with issues in a calm and relaxed manner; he is not quick to judge people or situations.  Appearances are important to him, but he does not feel the need to be overly conscious about fashion trends. He considers himself to be a balance between being an introvert and being an extrovert. He has a group of very close friends; in whose company he is very comfortable speaking his mind and tends to open up easily. If you were to meet him for the first time, he might come off as aloof and quiet, but he would seem very warm and caring to someone who has known him for a while. 

It took him several years to realize that work should not just be a means to an end, it should be your source of fulfillment, it should be an expression of your zeal for something. He does not want his children, or his younger siblings to take as long as he did to realize it; so he tries on every occasion to preach his new found beliefs to them. He says " I thought my dream was to have a big house, a big car and a big yard. But today, I realize none of those things will give me a true sense of achievement..."

Pain: Sam is afraid of not being able to provide the best opportunities for his children.  As a child he was very bright and full of potential but due to financial constraints, he could not study as far as he wished. He had to work very hard to support himself through his undergraduate degree. He hopes his children will not have to struggle like he did. He had to shoulder many responsibilities early on in his life and regrets not having had a chance to secure a graduate degree. 

He sees how important it is to have a well-rounded personality, and has qualms about not having developed a hobby that he could enjoy when he retires.

Gain: Sam used to measure success only by the size of his paycheck and the car he owned, even if it meant being just another brick in the wall. But today, he considers a more balanced approach – he wants to work on things that excite & interest him. At the same time, he wants to help children in need by volunteering and raising awareness about unfair child labor exploitation. He believes every child deserves a childhood.

Spending quality time with his family is important to him. His pursuit of happiness is a long journey that he has just embarked on.