I had almost made up mind to cancel my trip to Hawaii and work over the long weekend. “You are young only once, you will have all your life to work…..don’t cancel this trip” my cousin told me. He is much older, but very close and almost more of a friend than an older brother. He was right, it was the best trip of my life and I would have regretted not going had it not been for him. He has always had simple but good advice for me over the years.

Think & feel : My cousin (let’s call him Sam) is at a comfortable place in his life. He has a well-paying job, a family and owns most of the basic necessities one could desire. He enjoys spending time with his children and seeing them grow up. Although he is content with his place, he aspires to grow – both professionally and personally. 

Professionally,he feels the need to reinvent himself; he has been a man of habit, he takes the same route to work everyday, he has shopped at the same stores, he has eaten at the same restaurants and he has liked the predictability of his life. Most of his bets so far, have been safe. But now he wants to take a risk, and try his hand at entrepreneurship. After having worked for almost one and a half decades in the US, he now realizes how important it is to discover yourself. Today, he wants to pursue not just a career, but a passion.While monetary gains and material wealth are definitely top priority, a very close second are family and friends. Sam is very mature and sacrifices on many occasions for his family. He has grown beyond thinking for himself; he has started to explore how he could give back to society and how he could set a good example for his children. His children’s futures and their education are always on his mind. He is from India, and so he wants his children to learn both cultures – Indian and American. He believes it is his responsibility to show his children the best of both worlds. While he believes his kids have every right to express their views and opinions, he wants them to understand the pros and cons before they jump to forming those opinions or judging a person or situation.  

See: Sam sees the workplace getting more and more competitive. He is very aware of the pace of change in his industry and is constantly trying to stay ahead of the curve. With the recent boom in digital content and devices, he is bombarded with all sorts of news, trends and latest happenings all through the day. He sees some of his peers who refused to embrace change get left behind in the race. His outlook towards a career used to be - look for a job that matches your skill set and supports your family. But today, he has redefined it; he believes your profession is a manifestation of YOU, it satisfies your desire to express your place in society, it can be a source of pure joy, pride and excitement. He is no longer afraid to take risks and put himself out there. He would rather try and fail than never have tried at all.

On the personal front, Sam sees his friends get their children involved in a myriad of activities ranging from sports to music and arts. Sam can see the opportunities offered to students and youngsters. He realizes part of the reason young adults succeed, is because of the stress on following your passion. In his words “Success comes easily, if you love what you do”. 

Hear: Sam is at a distinctive position in terms of age – he gets to hear his parents’ opinions that maybe a more conservative outlook and he also gets to hear from his younger siblings and children and that maybe have a more liberal outlook towards issues and problems. He takes time to listen to what people around him have to say before he speaks up. Sam’s friends and colleagues like this aspect of his personality. They tend to value and respect his opinion, because he is not rushing to conclusions and seems to take into account most aspects of the issue at hand.

Say/Do: Sam is a responsible and mature person. He likes to deal with issues in a calm and relaxed manner; he is not quick to judge people or situations.  Appearances are important to him, but he does not feel the need to be overly conscious about fashion trends. He considers himself to be a balance between being an introvert and being an extrovert. He has a group of very close friends; in whose company he is very comfortable speaking his mind and tends to open up easily. If you were to meet him for the first time, he might come off as aloof and quiet, but he would seem very warm and caring to someone who has known him for a while. 

It took him several years to realize that work should not just be a means to an end, it should be your source of fulfillment, it should be an expression of your zeal for something. He does not want his children, or his younger siblings to take as long as he did to realize it; so he tries on every occasion to preach his new found beliefs to them. He says " I thought my dream was to have a big house, a big car and a big yard. But today, I realize none of those things will give me a true sense of achievement..."

Pain: Sam is afraid of not being able to provide the best opportunities for his children.  As a child he was very bright and full of potential but due to financial constraints, he could not study as far as he wished. He had to work very hard to support himself through his undergraduate degree. He hopes his children will not have to struggle like he did. He had to shoulder many responsibilities early on in his life and regrets not having had a chance to secure a graduate degree. 

He sees how important it is to have a well-rounded personality, and has qualms about not having developed a hobby that he could enjoy when he retires.

Gain: Sam used to measure success only by the size of his paycheck and the car he owned, even if it meant being just another brick in the wall. But today, he considers a more balanced approach – he wants to work on things that excite & interest him. At the same time, he wants to help children in need by volunteering and raising awareness about unfair child labor exploitation. He believes every child deserves a childhood.

Spending quality time with his family is important to him. His pursuit of happiness is a long journey that he has just embarked on.